Like I Was
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: Walter reassures Ralph in regards to his feelings for Patty. Inspired completely by some deleted dialogue from "Lighthouse of the Rising Sun."


**I wrote this last night after the episode aired, but I also had to edit the smut I published, so didn't get around to editing this one until now that I'm settled into my hotel. So enjoy some fairly fluffy Walter/Ralph based on a deleted line from Lighthouse of the Rising Sun that I am soooo sad they left out of the episode.**

 **Also a quick note on that subject and general announcement – this may be the last you hear from me for a while. I started posting a multi – chapter fic a little bit ago that I held off on publishing for a while because I was terrified as to how it would be received. At first everyone seemed excited to see how I would tackle difficult topics, they have faith in me etc etc, but that tune seems to have changed. I updated it last night and this afternoon I logged on to my email to find seven different messages from people as well as some anon reviews, all of them confirming why I probably should have never started publishing it in the first place. A few people were really nice in telling me they just couldn't see themselves continuing it, but others were downright nasty and one ordered me to stick to fluff because that's why they read my stories "and not for this preachy crap." To say the least, those kinds of nasty messages are really disheartening, even though they were only three of the seven messages and not even a majority. I like writing fluff, but I like nothing more than writing the more complex stuff, the angsty stuff, the deeper stuff. And if people don't like reading the meatier stuff, then I don't know what exactly I'm supposed to write. All of my multi – chapter fics have a piece of me and I throw everything in to writing them, and while I know all writers have to deal with rejection, I've never had such pushback from readers before and it's difficult not to take it hard, though please understand that unless you were flat out abrasive toward me I'm not upset with you.**

 **I'm leaving up my current WIP right now in case I do continue it, but as of now I don't have plans to do so. What's happened is exactly what I was afraid of. So that little announcement/update has to go here because I obviously can't tack it on to a chapter of that fic since there may not be another one.**

 **This isn't a punishment or a "look what you've made me do" situation, just a heads up if you don't see much from me for a while, this would be why. I can't write if my heart isn't in it.**

* * *

"Hey, how was your ice cream?" Walter asked, smiling as Ralph escaped his mother's hug and walked over toward him as Paige headed back into the kitchen to check on the food she was making for Meatball. A slight scent was wafting from the kitchen to where he sat on the couch. She was just heating up processed food. But it still smelled better than anything he had attempted to make for the Whiz Kids.

"Good. I got some on my nose and Patty giggled. I can't figure out if she was laughing at me or at the situation, though."

"Your mom looks cute with ice cream on her nose," Walter said. "No no no," he added quickly when Ralph wrinkled his. "I just mean, maybe Patty thought you looked cute with it on yours?"

Ralph sank down on the couch next to him, still looking dejected. "Probably little kid cute. Not the kind of cute you think my mom is."

"But that may mean she's comfortable with you," Walter said. "Look at those two teenagers in the plane today. They had never confessed their feelings for each other before then, but they were so in sync with each other because of familiarity. You remember how uptight Patty was at first."

"She was like you when we all met," Ralph said, the corner of his mouth turning up.

"Pretty much. I know you're joking but…well, even if you aren't joking, pretty much." Walter nodded. "She's softening up. If anything is ever going to happen, she has to let her guard down first, right? And let herself enjoy being with you?"

Walter knew he was making sense, especially when Ralph dramatically rolled his eyes and said, "what do you know anyway, 197?"

"Hey," he said, feigning annoyance, "you watch yourself, there."

Ralph was smiling. That was something. "Well, how are you doing, then?"

Walter shrugged. "I would be better if Meatball wasn't spending the night."

"Wait why…actually," Ralph said suddenly, "don't tell me, I don't wanna know." He smiled. "I'm really glad you and my mom got together. I don't say that enough. But sometimes I get jealous. I'm never going to have what you guys have. With Patty or with anyone else."

"Hey." Walter glanced toward the kitchen area. He thought he knew how long it took to make chicken fries and if Paige ate some with Meatball as she implied she might, she wouldn't be wandering back out here quite yet. "I may not be the relationship expert…I'm not sure any of us here could really call ourselves that…but you know that at your age I didn't even think love was real. I was…years and years away from realizing that I was wrong. And how I'm so much happier with your mom than I could ever be alone. I don't know if you're going to find that with Patty, but you believe in it, you know of it, and all at your young age. You'll find it somewhere, eventually."

Ralph looked at the floor. "Not if I keep on doing stupid things like holding the Birdroni remote upside down."

"You only did that because you were nervous."

"Yeah, but it was still stupid. We got along fine tonight when we were out with Sly, but…" the toe of Ralph's shoe was rubbing at a scuff mark on the floor. "But she's just gonna think of me as an idiot. Not as someone she would like to be with."

Walter ruffled the boy's hair. "I wouldn't quite go that far. You remember how closed off I was three years ago, but you don't remember the rest of it, do you?"

"The rest of what?"

"What a nervous idiot I was around your mom."

Ralph blinked. "You mean like when you didn't tell her you were in love with her and subjected us all to three months of the Navy SEAL?"

Walter wasn't sure he would ever stop regretting that night, even now when everything was okay. "That wasn't even close to the start of it. I had a crush on her from the day I met you two, and I fell in love with her fast. Even before I recognized what my feelings were, I was tripping over myself all the time. I was saying or doing the most ridiculous things because I was so nervous around her. An excited nervous that I didn't understand and certainly couldn't handle." He smiled. "Most thirty year olds already know how to deal with those feelings. You're thirteen."

"Yeah, you made a point of that earlier," Ralph said, looking down at his feet again.

"What I mean is, teenagers make nervous mistakes. That's how we learn, and that's how teenagers are expected to learn. Patty knows kids are awkward sometimes; she's still a kid herself."

Ralph shrugged. "I guess."

"Trust me," Walter said, "if I didn't scare your mom off, nothing you did today is going to chase Patty away. And hey." He leaned in and raised his eyebrows. "I do have a 197 I.Q."

" _Only_ 197?" Ralph said, a teasing glint in his eye. "Big whoop."

* * *

 **Just for anyone who doesn't know about the deleted line, basically while they were on the roof, Walter tells Ralph that he gets Ralph being nervous because he was like that all the time when he met Paige. So naturally I had to write it when I saw it was cut. Because not putting that line in the episode is a fecking travesty. Imma head to Tumblr now to find that Comic Con picture with stacks of folders photoshopped over the show runners.**


End file.
